Where do you see this relationship going?

dating deliberately Apr 01, 2021

Are you afraid to ask this question?

 

Where do you see this relationship going? It's an important question to ask and an essential conversation for every couple to have.

 

As someone who has decided to honor their God-given desire for marriage, it's important for you to check in with your boyfriend and ask him directly, "where do you see this relationship going?

 

Scary, I know.

 

Especially if you've been dating for a while, things are going well, you have fun together, and you like each other. He even invited you over to his mother's house for dinner.

 

Why rock the boat?

 

Unfortunately, you have to get uncomfortable, because unless you know whether or not you're preparing to enter into a covenant marriage, you may end up default into being his one true girlfriend forever.

 

I hate to tell you this, but... 

The person who cares the least about the relationship is the one who has the most control. 

 


That's why you have to ask the tough questions so that you can date with purpose and go from casual to committed in a way that honors God, or leave if it because apparent that he's not interested in a covenant marriage.

 

Dating Deliberately

 

Begin by asking yourself, "Where do you I see this relationship going?"

 

Often those answers are there in hidden in your heart.
And you should take the time to listen.

 

Because, despite your best intention to share the word of God with someone you're fond of, some people are never going to share your beliefs, and that's okay.


When that's the case, it's best to move on.

 

It's okay to have a coffee with a non-believer, share a few laughs, and even go on a second date. But when the relationship becomes more serious, you need to ask yourself whether or not it has the potential to be a Christ-centered marriage. 


"What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?"

2 Corinthians 6:15

 

What does the Bible say about dating non-believers?

 

The Bible doesn't talk about dating in the modern sense, but it does say; 

 

If a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.

1 Corinthians 7:13

 

But you, my friend, are not married. Don't over-commit to a relationship that is not in alignment with your God-given desire for marriage and does not bring glory and honor to God. 

 

There are important differences between dating and courtship that you should be aware of.  If you are a single Christian woman looking for a husband, you should only enter into the courtship stage with someone who shares your faith.

 

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

2 Corinthians 6:14

 

When you get into an unequally yoked relationship, the results are never good. Men do not want to be manipulated or forced into a relationship, not with you or God. We all want to choose freely and will come to resent those who use manipulative tactics to get what they want.

 

However, I also believe that pretty ladies like yourself have led more men to Christ than Billy Graham.

 

The difference is how and when you do it.

 

Do you start by letting someone see you as a child of God, who is full of faith, confident in who she is in Christ, and leaning into her core values?

 

...OR

 

... Do you people please, using shallow tips from cosmo to do your hair and makeup in a way that attracts shallow men? Are you waking up with a man in your bed on Sunday morning and trying to drag him to church with you? 

 

Don't blush! I get emails of that nature all the time. 

 

Where do you see this relationship going? - An Essential Conversation.

 

You can't avoid this conversation.
One of the biggest mistakes Christian Women make when dating is not being crystal clear about their expectations.

 

There's nothing wrong with asking, "what do you want in a relationship right now? Where do you see this relationship going?.


In fact, you should be asking these questions right from the start.

 

In my course, Ready For The One, I teach my students how to ask these questions tactfully, in a way that encourages positive, authentic conversations and doesn't make a man hightail it out of the relationship.

 

But, if you're on a first date, and the guy says, "I'm never going to get married, I just can't see myself chained down to one woman for the rest of my life," Please BELIEVE HIM!!!

 

Don't make the mistake of believing you're on a special mission from God to change his heart. 

 

Kindly take yourself home and try again with someone else.

 

What if it's too late?

Ok, maybe you're reading this and thinking, "hmmm, I might have started on the wrong foot. Is there any way to save this?"

 

Or, maybe you think that because you've already slept together that now you have to marry him, or God will be angry, or no one else will want you.

 

Let me say this: just because you slept with him doesn't mean you should marry him. Marriage is too serious a covenant to try and use to cover up sin.

 

If you've been sleeping with a man outside of marriage, the solution is repentance, not marriage. 

 

I know that's hard, especially when we get in over our heads. 

 

I often hear how it is too expensive to do the right thing. But trust me when I say this, that although it might be a financial challenge, it's always worth it to be obedient to God.

 

If you know, you're doing something wrong. Repent and do what's right.

 

Better to suffer a little bit now and get things in order than to try and justify your sin before God.

 

What if you ask your boyfriend, "where do you see this relationship going?" and he says he loves you but doesn't want to get married?

 

If you ask your boyfriend, "where do you see this relationship going?" and you don't get the response you were hoping for, that's important information to know.

 

It is better to make a bold move and get out of a relationship and live according to God's will.

 

This question will quickly eliminate the men who have no desire to love you as a covenant husband. 

 

And that's a good thing!

 

To have a covenant marriage, you, God, and the man have to be in agreement. And it's always best to start by agreeing with God. When you try to force God to bless something you came up with on your own, it doesn't work.

 

So, if you need to, don't be afraid to start again.


Even if he is really handsome, and you've got some beautiful memories, and his mom is really nice and you've already begun to imagine what your babies will look like...

It's better to walk away and work towards a solid future that honors your God-given desire for a Christ-centered marriage than to cling to memories.

 

Whether you're deep into a relationship or just keeping things casual, don't settle for anything less than God's best!

 

Be prepared to ask the tough questions;

 

  • Where do you see this relationship going?
  • How do you feel about marriage?
  • What do you believe about God and Jesus?
  • Who is Jesus to you?

 

Asking these essential questions will help you avoid so much pain and heartache. After all, one of the main reasons people get a divorce is because they should never have married each other in the first place.

 

Remember:

You are God's beautiful creation, and He loves you dearly.

 

Don't allow your feelings for someone to sabotage the beautiful dream you have for a Christ-centered marriage and family. God gave you that vision and it is too valuable and precious to abandon.

 

And don't be afraid that leaving a relationship means that you'll be alone forever. I fully believe that if you have the desire in your heart to be someone's wife, God will help you find an equally-yoked partner.

 

That desire for marriage is from God, and it's never too late.
He knows your needs, and He is a faithful provider.
You do your part and let Him do His.

  

You'll find tons of free information throughout this website to help Christian women like you.

 

My goal is to apply ancient Biblical principles and Christ-centered truths to the modern dating world. I hope to empower single Christian women to date deliberately, court with confidence and pursue their God-given desire for a Christ-centered marriage wholeheartedly. 

 

If you would like some help getting started, check out my free relationship starter course.

 

Begin by knowing your true worth in Christ and loving yourself so that you can attract and love the right man.

 

When you put in the work, that day could be much sooner than you think.

 

 

In this FREE Course, you're going to learn:

 

  1. Who you are in Christ
  2. What your core values are
  3. How to attract a man that finds you irresistible

 

Take The Self-Love Relationship Starter Course for FREE Today!

 

Now I would love to hear from you!

 

I hope you’ve found this useful. If so, please share it on your favorite platform.

 

If you have any questions, thoughts, or opinions, I would love to connect with you in the comments below.

 

And I have a few questions for you…

 

  • Have you ever let go of a relationship because it became clear that it wouldn't lead to marriage?
  • What advice would you offer another woman whose boyfriend says he doesn't want to get married?
  • Where do you see your relationship going? Is it headed towards a covenant marriage?

Leave a comment below and let me know. 

 

Share as much detail as you like. Your wisdom and insights will help and encourage readers from around the world. The ideas you share might be the inspiration someone else needs to hear today.

 

Important: Please share your thoughts, ideas, and opinions directly in the comments below. This way, everyone benefits, and the community will continue to grow.

 

Thank you so much for reading and supporting this community with your voice.

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