Self-love is not selfish!
As a single Christian woman, it's actually an essential part of your walk with God and absolutely critical to establishing an equally yoked relationship and Christ-centred marriage.
But as the world becomes more self-indulgent and egocentric, many women feel that to avoid being seen as selfish; they must become martyrs, burning themselves out to keep others warm.
It's time to bust the myths around self-love and start talking about what it really takes to truly love ourselves and others.
Be sure to check out my FREE Relationship Starter Course; Self-Love if you're single and ready to take the very first step to pursue an equally yoked and Christ-centred marriage.
When Peter was asked for money by a crippled man in the Bible, Petercouldn'to give him any.
Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I do have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk."Acts 3:6
Peter didn't have money to give, instead, he gave him something better, the gift of healing.
But, for us as Christian women, one thing that almost everyone around us wants is more love. Real love. True Love. And, all too often, we find ourselves burnt out. We've given all that we have until there's nothing left.
Self-love is seeing ourselves THE WAY GOD SEES US.
First of all, when God looks at us, he sees Christ. He doesn't see a sinner; He sees the finished work. When we look at ourselves, it's hard not to see the problems.
Of course, we know we're not there yet. There's all the doubt, sin, shame, and mess. We don't have to ignore the problems, they're a real part of our lives, but we can't let them become more real than the truth that God has declared over us.
When it comes to following God's commandments that's a big problem because God has clearly commanded us that we MUST LOVE one another.
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
Self-love is all about fully receiving the Love that Jesus has freely given us so that we can obey His command to love others.
Here's the thing, when we choose to practice self-love, it's not about treating ourselves to expensive spa treatments or indulging in a night of binge-watching Netflix. It's about taking the time to look within and discover who we are from God's perspective.
We can't ignore sin, when we feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit it is our obligation to repent and deal with our sin by walking away from it. But to do so requires the grace of God.
Too often Christians get bogged down with the feeling that they're not worthy of Grace. But if God believes you should have it, who are you to argue with Him? After all, it's God's gift to each of us, and Self-Love, seeing ourselves the way God sees us, allows us to receive it.
Self-Love helps us to move forward, away from our sinful past toward righteousness in Christ.
When we receive the love of Christ we have a stronger desire to renew our minds and follow Him faithfully. When we are stuck in a self-loathing mindset, it makes us want to run and hide from God the same way Adam did after eating the fruit in the Garden of Eden.
The biggest reason self-love is so criticized within the Christian community is that it's being compared to what the world is doing.
When you are apart from God and look inward, how can you see anything but the sinner? In the world, self-love is indulgent and deceptive. It leads to pride and egotistical behavior.
But in Christ, Self-love is both beautiful and essential.
As Christians, practicing self-love should never dethrone God from His rightful place in our hearts, it should serve to draw us closer into a relationship with Him and the world around us.
Self-Love should move us to see our role in this world as vitally important and spur us to become the very best version of ourselves. Reflecting Christ to everyone around us.
How many times have you neglected yourself to care for those around you? As a Mom, I do it on the daily!
Let me guess, if you're anything like me you've done a dozen things for other people before you've even brushed your teeth.
I want to encourage you to learn how to practice self-care.
Women don't need to be told to be more selfless.
We do that pretty well on our own.
Mark 12:30-31 says, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
[Mary says,] My entire life, I’ve read those verses and never noticed the two little words in verse 31. Did you catch them? As yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself.
That means you are supposed to love yourself, too!
It doesn’t say love your neighbor and belittle or neglect yourself.
Sometimes we mistakenly believe that self-degradation is synonymous with “showing humility.” Jesus wants you to love and value yourself as His beloved child and creation.
Ask yourself: Would I want my dearest friend or family member to treat themselves the way I’m treating myself?
True Self Love will empower you to walk away from sin, negative self-talk, shame, and condemnation.
When you truly love yourself, you will not allow the devil to continue to use his guilt trips on you.
True Self Love will push you to be your very best, all for the glory and honor of God.
Stop trying to pour out of an empty vessel.
If you really want to have a successful equally yoked relationship, take the time to focus on solidifying your relationship with Christ and enhancing your ability to receive His love.
My Free Relationship Starter Course will help you go back to the basics and ensure you're building your next relationship on a solid foundation.
It will also help appreciate the unique gifts and abilities He has given to use within the world.
In this free course, you will identify your your core values, who you are in Him, and what you would love to offer your future husband.
You can't have an equally yoked relationship without embracing self-love.
But, you can be the Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Co-worker, And Friend that you've always wanted to be when you fill up on the Love of God and receive it as your very own.
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My goal is to help Christian women like you enjoy a healthy, thriving relationship with God so that you can pursue your God-given desire for marriage. If you have any questions, thoughts, or opinions, I would love to connect with you in the comments below.
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