You can achieve your God-given desire for marriage.
But, this can only happen when you choose to repent and reprogram your brain by adopting the mind of Christ.
Repentance and reprogramming are one and the same.
Doing so is hard, but it allows you to not only grow but thrive!
Repentance is not about feeling bad about yourself and what you've done.
It's about admitting there's a better way. God's way.
When we repent, we exchange all the lies for the Truth of God.
Repentance is not something we do naturally.
Naturally, we settle for feeling shame and go about our lives.
And that is why we stay stuck.
It's not because there's something wrong with you.
It's because you're human.
Your brain is programmed to survive.
Right now, your brain is programmed for 3 things.
This is how life on earth survives.
But, you were created by God for more than survival.
You were created to thrive.
When Christ entered our world, the objective of our human existence changed. Surviving mode was no longer enough.
But, in order to thrive, you must adopt the mind of Christ and reprogram your brain.
To settle for survival is to accept death.
Instead of striving for our God-given desires, we settle for false pleasures and sin. We become addicted to food, entertainment, social media, sex, drugs, drama, and pain.
To thrive, we have to learn how to think like Christ about our lives. We must step away from our comfort zone of false pleasure and embrace the discomfort of becoming who we truly are in Christ.
To do this, we have to need to choose to intentionally:
This is what we do as faithful disciples of Christ.
We must be disciplined about intentionally becoming who we were created to be.
This will be the most courageous thing you will ever do.
A steadfast commitment to wholeheartedly pursuing your God-given desire for marriage will scare you.
Becoming the best possible version of yourself and then offering the most generous amount of value available to another human being is going to take you way out of your comfort zone.
You're going to feel doubt, fear, overwhelm, and confusion.
That doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.
It means that you're right on track!
Fear, doubt, confusion, impatience, frustration, and resistance are natural ways your brain responds when switching from survival mode to thriving.
Your brain doesn't know the difference between switching from survival mode to dying and survival mode to thriving.
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me”.Luke 9:23
Jesus knows the cross won't kill you.
But your brain doesn't know that yet.
If you courageously do this work daily, you will be able to reprogram your brain by adopting the mind of Christ.
It's not enough to see the code of life; you must actively use it to reprogram your mind. Your brain is a brilliant piece of software that is designed to be able to serve you and God. But most people are serving their brains.
They're giving their brains what they want.
Helping it survive.
Fueling up on gossip, negativity, outdated ideas, prejudice, scarcity, and defensiveness.
Reprogramming your brain must become your new daily habit.
It's a two-step process
To thrive, you must pursue your God-given desires.
I work with women who have a God-given desire for marriage.
But desire alone isn't enough.
Wanting something doesn't change you.
It's only when you commit to achieving your God-given desire that you actually grow. As you try to accomplish this God-given desire, you will grow, you will become yourself—the woman you were always meant to be.
Getting married is a worthy and beautiful desire to pursue.
Not because being married is better than being single.
But because you acknowledged your God-given desire and you went for it.
Now, I want you to commit to your God-given desire.
You're going to get married.
Watch your brain FREAK OUT!
Immediately it will come up with a million ifs and buts.
Your brain is doing what it was programmed to do.
At this point, most women give up and turn back to doing whatever comes naturally. Hiding, pretending, seducing, clinging, numbing.
You distract yourself with other things and stay busy.
Or, you "wait on the Lord."
We decide that we're too stressed and overwhelmed to pursue our goals. It's not so bad where you are. You should be grateful. You have so much already. Why bother?
But what I'm going to teach you throughout this challenge is that this is the time to adopt the mind of Christ.
Adopting the mind of Christ will give you the awareness and peace you need to keep moving forward towards your goal of a Christ-centered marriage.
All you need is a pen and a notebook.
This is what coaches call a brain download.
But I see it as the best way to lay down all your burdens at the foot of the cross.
It won't be pretty, and it's not supposed to be.
It's just raw humanity.
The good, the bad, and the cringy.
Your brain will tell you many things; you're going to die, you're going to hell, you're going to ruin everything, there's something wrong with you, you're going to hurt people, you're going to disappoint God, you're making a mistake. You are a mistake.
This is how your brain responds when you try to achieve your God-given desires.
Whatever comes to your brain, write it down.
Now you have a list of thoughts.
Pick a thought.
It doesn't have to be the most intense or painful one, just one that you find interesting. There's no right or wrong one, just PICK ONE.
This is how you reprogram the brain and adopt the mind of Christ.
One thought at a time.
You start by taking a look at what's in there.
Laying it all out at the foot of the cross.
This isn't meant to be fun, and what's in there will scare you.
At this point, you will be tempted to get up and walk away.
But don't go.
Don't be tempted to stop.
Stay and do the work.
You will adopt the mind of Christ, one thought at a time.
Pick a thought and enter it into the code.
Your thoughts go into the "MIND" slot.
Then ask yourself these questions to fill in the rest of the code.
Thought: "No one will ever be able to love me the way that I am."
Mark broke up with me last night. He said that he can't handle me when I act crazy. I feel like an idiot. What's wrong with me? I should have known. No one will ever be able to love me the way that I am.
The reason we want to take the time to run the whole code is that we need to retrain the brain to understand that these thoughts are all optional.
We need to learn that we have the power to manage our thoughts and change our minds.
When we examine our minds and run the code, we begin to realize the effect that our thoughts are having on our lives. Then we understand why we're stuck and why things don't change in the way we'd like them to. We realize why we haven't achieved our God-given desires.
Adopting the mind of Christ allows us to search for the truth.
The truth is what will set us free from confusion, doubt, and fear.
Once we see the truth of how our human brain is limiting us, then we can reprogram the code with the truth of God.
We can prayerfully ask God what the truth is and how we could choose to feel instead. Then we can intentionally live into that truth instead.
We have the power and privilege to decide what we want to think and feel.
The old human programming doesn't have to continue to define us. We can adopt the mind of Christ and override the lies with the truth of God.
Let's choose to feel and be fueled by the fruit of the Spirit instead of doubt, shame, and fear.
We can use Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control as the fuel we need to overcome any challenge or obstacle.
When you reprogram your human brain with the mind of Christ, you start doing the impossible. You begin stepping outside your comfort zone, challenge the lies that kept you stuck, and start living a faithful and fruit-fueled life.
This isn't just how you achieve your God-given desire for marriage.
This is how you move mountains!