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How To Get A Boyfriend: 7 Secrets Christian Women Need to Know

dating deliberately single and strong Feb 05, 2021
How to get a boyfriend

Single Christian women want to know one thing: How to get a boyfriend.


But not just any man will do. 

He needs to be an equally-yoked Christian who loves the Lord, is ready to get married, and, ideally, start a family. 


You're praying and fasting and waiting on the Lord to send you your Boaz. But all you see are empty fields.


Where is he? And what is holding him up?


You're looking for a quality Christian man who will lead you and your household closer to God. You know the importance of waiting for the right one because the last thing you want is to find yourself in an unequally yoked marriage. 


The good news is; you don't have to settle. 


You can and will find a boyfriend who has true potential as a husband, but it takes a little time, patience, and effort on your part.


Let's talk about the seven secrets you need to know to find a boyfriend who is everything you want in a man. 


How to Get a Boyfriend: Secret #1:
Know Your Value


A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
 Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.

Proverbs 31:10-12


A good honest woman like you is hard to find.


The Bible says that you are as unique as rubies (the rarest of the gemstones) and far more valuable.  


So before you go on a quest to find the man of your dream. You've got to do some soul searching and remember how truly wonderful you are.


You're fearfully and wonderfully made. 


The right man is going to see that and get excited by it.  But you need to begin by knowing what's so wonderful about you!


Here is a short prayer that I want to invite you to use regularly;


Prayer: Help me to see myself the way you see me. How to get a boyfriend


Your true value comes from God. He knows who you are, what you're capable of, and the purpose for which He created you. 


By the way, you were made for love.
Your purpose is to love and be loved.


Always be in the habit of asking Go to reveal more of what He loves about you, to you. Learn to receive it. Embrace it. And Express it. 


How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #2:
Confidence in the Lord


Good men are attracted to confident women. 


The most confident women get their confidence in knowing who they are in Christ. That kind of confidence is UNSHAKABLE. 


When you remember that the Lord is sovereign, mighty, and in control, you can let go of doubt, fear, and anxiety. 


You are not finding the love of your life on your own.


God knows who he is and where he is. Confidence in the Lord is going out each day, believing in the possibility that God has placed him right around the next corner. 


This kind of confidence in the Lord will reflect upon you as confidence in yourself. 


And once again, men love and look for confident women. 


So don't hide your relationship with God.


Let your light shine.
Be on fire for Jesus and trust that God is working all things for your good to bring you into a relationship with someone special.


How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #3:
Be Patient


I know that when you're looking for love and trying to find a boyfriend, it feels like time is against you. 


I was talking with a young woman the other day, and she was shocked to hear that I am also coaching a twice-widowed woman in her late sixties who is actively seeking a husband.


Young people tend to think that it's now or never. 


That means they also tend to select people based on who they are right now. They look for certain characteristics that are just vanity metrics.


When I ask women what kind of a man they are attracted to; the answer is usually;


Tall, Dark, and Handsome. 
They're focused on the outer appearance. 


Of course, I would never suggest that you marry someone you're not physically attracted to. However, I have found that women are often just as bad, if not worse, when it comes to judging people based on appearances. 


They look for someone who is extremely sexually attractive. They quickly get carried away by their fluttering heart, have sex, and find out he is a horrible partner.


Then, they don't leave because now she's invested herself physically into the relationship. 


There's this unspoken idea that if you can get a man to come to Christ and marry you, that makes up for all the fornication and stuff. 



Marriage does not solve for fornication. 
Only repentance does that. 


But when you are willing to be patient.
When you're not in a rush.
Time is actually on your side. 


Instead, you can create a space in which a man can honestly reveal his true character.


It's also worthwhile to mention that you won't come off as needy or desperate. 


Trust me, when you're in a rush, men know.


And since you're not taking the time to discern the will of God in the situation, it's easy for the wrong guy to take advantage of that desperation.


So if he is a player, you'll get used.
On the other hand, if he is a genuinely good guy, who would make a great husband, you'll freak him out.


The truth is; good men aren't willing to settle either.
They're looking for a woman who is #wifeymaterial


Ask yourself these questions:


  • Am I dependable?
  • Can I manage time well?
  • Are my finances in order?
  • Do I have a good work ethic?
  • Am I good at finishing what I start?


Now is the time to work on yourself because Boaz is looking for Ruth. Not Delilah! 


Remember, this period of your life is temporary.
So figure out how to make the most of it. 


You've got to find that balance between learning to relax and keeping yourself busy. God's timing is perfect. And He won't lead you into marriage prematurely.


What to do during your alone time?


Use this time to get fat on the Lord.


Before I married my husband, there were about 6 months where God strategically separated us. 


Those first 2 months were probably the loneliest of my life!


I was starting to really fall in love, and then he was gone.
Like 1500 miles apart, Gone. 


It didn't felt good. I was confused, frustrated, and annoyed with God. 


But in the third month, I began to relax. I started to settle down and lean into what God was trying to accomplish.


Here's the thing. Back then, I had no idea that I would be ministering to people around the world. But God knew. And He knew I had a lot of work to do to be ready. 


So, I began eating up Bible studies like fudge sundaes. 


My appetite for scripture became insatiable. I got fat on the Lord.
For the next 3 months, it was just God and me.


I worked night shifts and spent my hours highlighting and studying the word. I learned to pray effectively and continually. Through fasting, I sought His kingdom and His will in for my life. 


And then my love was back, and we got married. 




The big part that I didn't know was how challenging being a new mom really was. 
Shortly after we were married, we got into business and ministry, and I became pregnant. 


No more fasting for me. And I didn't have that same level of energy for Bible study that I had during my months of solitude. 


I began living off the fat. 


Let me tell you, cherish this period of your life. It is sacred. 
It's also fleeting. It will be over in the blink of an eye. 


How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret #4:
Live Life Abundantly


Jesus came that you might have life and have it more abundantly.
Not once you're married, but right now!


Don't be afraid to go out and do things on your own.


Honestly, you've got a far better chance of running into your guy while you're out enjoying life than if you're at home sulking on the couch.


Experience joy in your life right now.


  • Join classes
  • Start a business
  • Volunteer
  • Get and stay active
  • Take a mission trip.


Because trust me, some of those things are a lot easier to do WITHOUT a baby on your hip. 


You've got to stop believing the devil's lie and thinking that your real life will begin once you're married.


Instead, embrace the opportunities around you. Try new things. Learn what you love. Discover what inspires you.


Ask yourself, What gets me excited about life?


Please don't use "I'm waiting on the Lord" as an excuse to sit at home alone watching Netflix, eating ice cream, and getting bitter. 


Don't Be A Mirror.


Too many women try to become mirrors of the men they are interested in. 


If he likes football, suddenly you do too.
He's a jogger, you've got a new pair of Nikes
When he buys a new Batman t-shirt, you get the movie poster framed and installed in your living room. 


Don't be that girl.
It's cute for a moment, but it's a disaster in the long run. 


Because here's how all of that plays out. 


You wake up one day, and he has baseball tickets, and you don't want to go. 

He splurges on a camping trip, and you resent the fact that he's trying to make you sleep on the ground. 


You can't build a healthy, successful relationship trying to be someone you're not. 


Instead, take this time to cultivate your own joy. Discover your unique skills and abilities, and then don't be afraid to showcase them when someone interesting comes your way. 


How to Get a Boyfriend, Secret # 5
Know that you're not alone


No one likes feeling lonely. It feels awful, And finding a boyfriend, getting married, and filling the house with kids seems like a good way to avoid loneliness.


But it's not!


It's scary how lonely you can feel in a house full of children, holding a baby, and watching your husband watch tv.


This is the best time of your life to confront the fear of being alone with the truth that you are always in the presence of the Lord. 


God loves you now, as you are.


Don't obsess over finding your Boaz.


Get busy in the fields of life, and you will naturally attract him. 



How to Get a Boyfriend; Secret #6 
Get Out In The Field.


As nice as it would be, God is not going to send your future husband to knock on your door while you're at home hiding in your prayer closet.


You're going to have to be brave and put yourself out there.
This is hard because you could get hurt. 


From what I can tell about the human experience of life on Earth, God never promised us a vacation free from pain and heartache. 


Life on this side of Heaven comes with risks and opportunities. 


But, unless you create opportunities for him to walk into your life, he never will.


Let's be honest; you don't know who he is or where you'll meet him.


It could be in church, but it could also be on the airplane for a business trip. Or while volunteering, or parachuting, or while you're doing whatever you love doing.


He could be your friend's brother or the captain of the field soccer team. 


But let me tell you an even deeper secret: Men notice women who are truly enjoying themselves.


Go out there and enjoy yourself and let someone notice your gorgeous smile in cooking class.


Get Ready!


 Make sure you're ready for those opportunities.


  • Get dressed up when you leave the house.
  • Smile
  • Accept compliments 
  • Let someone hold the door for you.


Keep your eyes open and be sensitive to those around you.  


How to Get a Boyfriend: Secret #7:
Be open to Who You Meet.



I know that you want to find a Christian man of God who is a prayer warrior and puts the Word of God above everything else.


But honestly, it's lovely women like yourself who have led more men to Jesus than Billy Graham ever did.


If you are confident in your relationship with God, it's okay to invite someone along to experience that relationship too. 


He might be a heathen, a Muslim, a Buddhist, or a nerdy atheist scientist. 


Now, I'm not saying you should marry a heathen, Muslim, or nerdy atheist scientist, but that doesn't mean you should never talk to one for fear of getting into an unequally yoked marriage.


This isn't an overnight process.
And you're not getting married tomorrow.


If you have followed the first six secrets and you're clear on your boundaries, then you are free to broaden your horizons.


Because the right man will follow you to the foot of the cross. 


Instead of saying, I can't date you because we have different religious beliefs, try saying...


My relationship with Christ is significant to me, and I'd like to be able to share that with you. Would you like to hear about my experience getting to Jesus?


If you're not in a rush to get married to the next man you meet, then it doesn't hurt you to celebrate and share your relationship with God with an unbeliever. 


There are many examples of God using romantic relationships to woo more people into the body of Christ. 


A word of caution. 


If you pursue a romantic relationship at the expense of your own relationship with God, that's a problem. 


It would help if you were honest about your own strengths and weaknesses. If you need to manipulate someone or compromise on your own beliefs to maintain a relationship, then you're building that relationship based on lies and deceit. 



The Real Secret to Getting a Boyfriend 


The true Christian woman's secret on finding a boyfriend is this; create a life for yourself that he will want to be a part of.


If you want a marriage and children, I believe that is a God-given desire that you should honor. 


God gives us the true desires of our heart.
He planted that hope and dream in you. 


That doesn't mean that every Christian woman Must Get Married.

Many women don't have that desire. 
But for those who do, pursue it with honesty and integrity. 



Keep your eyes open. 


Don't pout because it hasn't happened yet. 


When it seems like everyone else is getting married and having babies, don't start asking, "what's wrong with me." Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made.


You won't be a single Christian woman seeking her Boaz forever.


And there are things you can do now that you won't be able to do once you're married. And a small part of you might miss those things a little bit. So enjoy them now in this season and build up good memories.


Finally, you can do a lot of things as a single Christian to begin preparing for marriage today.


You'll find tons of free information throughout this website to help Christian women like you.


My goal is to apply ancient Biblical principles and Christ-centered truths to the modern dating world. I hope to empower single Christian women to date deliberately, court with confidence, and pursue their God-given desire for marriage wholeheartedly. 


If you would like some help getting started, check out my free relationship starter course.


Begin by knowing your true worth in Christ and loving yourself so that you can attract and love the right man.


When you put in the work, that day could be much sooner than you think.



In this FREE Course, you're going to learn:


  1. Who you are in Christ
  2. What your core values are
  3. How to attract a man that finds you irresistible


Take The Self-Love Relationship Starter Course for FREE Today!


Now I would love to hear from you!


I hope you’ve found this useful. If so, please share it on your favorite platform.


If you have any questions, thoughts, or opinions, I would love to connect with you in the comments below.


And I have a few questions for you…


  • Do you have any additional tips for how to get a boyfriend? 
  • How do you feel about being single?
  • What does waiting on the Lord mean to you?


Leave a comment below and let me know. 


Share as much detail as you like. Your wisdom and insights will help and encourage readers from around the world. The ideas you share might be the inspiration someone else needs to hear today.


Important: Please share your thoughts, ideas, and opinions directly in the comments below. This way, everyone benefits, and the community will continue to grow.


Thank you so much for reading and supporting this community with your voice. Your comments are a gift to me, and I try to reply to each one. 


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