#65: Digital Distractions

forever love podcast Mar 03, 2022


Do you long to meet a man organically? 

Your digital distractions might be sabotaging your efforts


I know that you dream of meeting a man in the real world, not using dating apps. You'd prefer to meet him in church, and you want to know that God has placed him in your life, right on time. 


But what if your online activities and digital devices are sabotaging your ability to connect and enjoy that serendipitous moment. 


Well, that’s why I want to invite you to join our 31-day dating (without the apps and digital distractions, challenge.

I can’t wait to tell you all about the stories of women who are seeing transformations after just 48 hours. 


In today's episode, I want to share some of the ah-ha moments and revelations that have occurred within the challenge and how you can participate as well.  


We're going to talk about; 

  • How to enjoy more in-person conversations
  • Why you can expect to see more people reaching out to you
  • Being desirable, connected, and experiencing a natural sense of belonging
  • The internet fog
  • What's coming up in the 31-day challenge
  • Why you need to get off the bad news train. 


It's an incredible episode and I hope that you'll enjoy it and share it with a friend. If more of us choose to unapologetically unplug and reconnect with the humans around us, we will be able to do more for the world than we might currently be able to imagine. 

Register for the 31 Day Challenge here>>


Do you want me to personally help you achieve your God-given desire for marriage?


If you're ready to take the next step and commit to doing the work as long as it's in alignment with the will of God, I can help you start a healthy relationship, transition through the various phases, and ultimately enjoy a Christ-centered marriage. You can be a Godly wife and I want to help you succeed.

Book your free coaching consultation to get started >>


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#65: Digital Distractions | Rough Transcript 


Hello my friend, this week we’re talking about digital distractions and how they might be having a negative impact on your ability to meet men organically.

I know that’s your dream right, not to use dating apps, but to meet that special someone organically, preferably in church, and to know that God has placed him in your life, right on time. 


But what if your online activities and digital devices are sabotaging your ability to connect and enjoy that serendipitous moment. 


Well, that’s why I want to invite you to join our 31-day dating (without the apps and digital distractions, challenge.

I can’t wait to tell you all about it, so let’s get started. 

Digital distractions 


Hi, I’m Lily Mtongwiza your host and favorite Christ-centered relationship coach. And this is the Forever Love Podcast. 


Part 2 - last week - check it out. 


Doing this because we are on Day 3 and already people are reporting some really cool testimonials. 


One of my clients who got a head start shared that she is having more in-person conversations 


  • We all have a natural desire to connect - Digital distractions cut us off from that. 


Also, more people have been checking in with her. Made announcements that she’s going offline, now people are getting in touch. 


  • When we can “Like” something, we think we’ve connected when we haven’t. 


Another client did day 2 of the challenge, with meditation. 


First, let me explain where we’re at. You can jump in.

Day 1 we unplugged, 

Day 2, feeling our feelings. 


Today, we are learning how to be a yes to the will of God. 


It’s really powerful stuff, you don’t want to miss it. 


Client did day 2 meditation, and in there I say that your feelings can’t hurt you. 


And I love it when my clients argue with me. Cause you’re allowed to do that. You’re allowed to disagree. When I coach, that is a safe place for you to share everything and anything you’re thinking and feeling.

People keep coming back to me after a session and apologizing for being emotional or argumentative, and I always tell them, there is nothing to apologize for. This is the work.

I do not take anything you say or feel personally. I know that you’re human and you’re working through this stuff, and my job is to be there with you in it. 


So, she said, feelings can hurt, being angry causes cancer and ulcers etc. 


And she was genuinely scared to do the meditation and let those feelings come up. 


But what I told her, and what i want everyone to know and understand is that it’s not the feelings that hurt us, it’s the resistance of them. 


When we chock back our emotions, and we don’t let them pass through.

I told her to go and try the meditation one more time. I promised her that it’s less than 11 minutes and that she can feel any emotion for 11 minutes and she will be okay. 


She wasn’t keen on the idea, but she did it anyways, and this morning she reported back that once the emotion climaxed, it dissolved. 


It just dissolved.

Isn’t that amazing!!

And that is what happens when we feel our feelings rather than fight against them.
So you’ve got to come join the challenge, the first 2 days alone make it worth your investment of $31 


Honestly, it’s the best dollar a day you could possibly spend this month. 


If you complete the challenge, and you don’t totally agree, just let me know. I’ll give you your money back.


No problem. 


But seriously, you’re going to love this.

I think we are all secretly craving an opportunity like this to put down our tech and reconstruct some healthy boundaries around it. 


We know that it’s having an effect on us, but it’s also our comfort and distraction, so even though we know there are a lot of red flags popping up, we swipe them away and go back to candy crush and watching dogs jump into snowbanks. 




So, I’m not going to keep you for too long today because I’ve already done an in-depth episode on this last week and because I’ve got so much prepared for you inside the challenge.

Let me quickly give you a brief overview of our calendar. 


Now, before I break that down for you, some of the participants have been having so much fun in the real world. They are taking pictures and wanting to share them and tell their stories.

And I can’t wait to hear and see all the amazing things you’re all doing. But I didn’t want to enable the comments inside the program or set up a Facebook group for it because I want you to share these things with the humans who are actually standing around you. 


On April 1st, you’re welcome to join us in the Facebook group, and we will have an after-party there to celebrate all the transformations and insights. 

And on Saturday, April 2 at 12 pm est. I’m hosting a Live Q & A for all the participants, and that’s going to be a really fun opportunity to share stories as well.

Plus, - as if this challenge isn’t awesome enough, anyone who completes the challenge will be eligible for a draw to win a private coaching session with me valued at over $200. 


And by the way. I am doing this alongside you.

All the social media apps and news feeds have been deleted or disabled.
There’s actually a cool plug-in you can get for google chrome that allows you to disable the Facebook newsfeed because that’s where the real distractions happen, right! 


It’s called kill news feed, and I highly recommend you add it to your browser. 


I know that when it comes to meeting a partner, what you want is to meet him organically, preferably in your church, but definitely organically. 


And you might be resistant to the idea of using online dating apps, but are you aware of how all your online activities and digital devices might be impacting your ability to meet someone in the real world. 


The truth is you won’t know until you take a break.

So if that sounds good to you, here’s a highlight of what you’ll find inside the challenge.

Each day, you’ll get an email with the link to your audio lesson. Each lesson is less than 5 minutes. 


You’ll also get an action step or bonus material such as meditation, writing prompt, or some other little blessing to help you take your work to the next level. 


So here’s the rundown. 

By the way, you can join us live anytime between now March 3rd and the 21st of March. You’ll have access to everything inside the challenge until April 10th 


Okay, ready? 


DAY 1: I’ll help you unapologetically unplug from the interwebs so that you can create space for your God-given desire for love! 

DAY 2: I’m hooking you up with a practice to help you process your emotions, especially when your thumbs start to get fidgety. 

DAY 3: To date and court with Godly purpose, you must become a YES for God’s will in your life. On Day 3, you’ll become super clear about what God’s will for you is.

DAY 4: It’s all about reducing stress and letting go of control. This is not easy, my friend, but I’ll show you how! 

DAY 5: This lesson is about the importance of cultivating the fruit of the Holy Spirit as fuel to create your God-given desires.  

DAY 6: On this day, you’ll receive a guided meditation that will help you lean into your God-given desires.

DAY 7: This lesson will teach you that good people (men) want to connect with you. 


Are you in? 


DAY 8: On this day, I teach a beautiful practice for letting God lead you towards love


DAY 9: This lesson will help you deal with boredom and the problem with patience!  


DAY 10: Diving into appreciation in this lesson so that you can enjoy more of what you want and less of what you don’t


DAY 11: Here, you will discover the power of a smile through a guided meditation that helps you cultivate a spirit of belonging. 


DAY 12: Being Desirable. This lesson will improve your ability to attract an equally yoked partner.


DAY 13: Super Important: Stop apologizing for letting go of toxic people and relationships and cut the ties that keep you bound spiritually. I will teach you how. 


DAY 14: This practice will teach you how to let play and fun back into your life. 


Sound enticing? Learn more!


DAY 15: I’ll teach you how to attract love at the soul level rather than the physical level.


DAY 16: This lesson will help you reassess what you want in your life and what needs to change to achieve it. 


DAY 17: Focus on the kingdom of God and how your desires for love and marriage fit into His perfect purpose. 


Yes, I want in! 


DAY 18: The focus of this lesson is to let go of the scarcity mindset and recognize the true potential of everything around you. 


DAY 19: I’ll teach you how to guard your heart with love, not from it.


DAY 20: It’s all about surrender and receiving. We’re going to talk about how to let good things (aka a qualified partner) into your life. 


DAY 21: Forgive yourself for all the things you think have spoiled your shot at real love. 


How awesome is this? ^^^^^


DAY 22: Forgive those who hurt you and whom you secretly blame for ruining your life. 


DAY 23: Deal with your Mom issues. Whether you’re 26 or 66, we all have them and need to work through them again and again.

DAY 24: Deal with your Dad issues. Again, we all have them.

DAY 25: Hostile Siblings and other relatives. Make peace in your heart, so they no longer have any power over you. I’ll show you how.

DAY 26: Break chains from previous romantic relationships. You’re ready to make a clean cut and heal your heart.

DAY 27: Breath! You’ve done incredibly powerful work this week, and today you’ll enjoy a restorative meditation to help heal your heart.

DAY 28: This lesson is about clearing out clutter. You’ve been carrying more burdens than you realize, and it’s time to let them go.

DAY 29: Take a quiet day. This is a day for listening, and I have the perfect steps to help you hear that still small voice a little more clearly.

DAY 30: Prepare for reentry into the online world on your terms

DAY 31: Invite the online back into your life. (If you want to.) 


Saturday, April 2, 12 PM EST, there will be a live Q&A with me where we will share our success stories, and I will answer any questions and do a bit of coaching.

Thank you once again for joining me on the Forever Love Podcast. 

Click here to sign up for the 31-Dating Without The Apps Challenge.


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