#52: Ready For The One Revealed

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Forever Love Podcast Episode #52 | Transcript

Lily: Listen. I've never done this before, But here's the thing. I've cracked the code on love and I’ve got the secret to getting married, and I'm sharing all about it in this episode. I'm sharing how I've cracked  the code to eliminating drama and dysfunction in romantic relationships so that I  could get to a healthy Christ-centered marriage and enjoy being a Godly wife. And How you can too. 

INTRO: I'm Lily Mtongwiza and this is The Forever Love Podcast

LilY: Now, the secret weapon? My signature course, Ready For The One. Now, because there's a lot to cover in this episode, I'm going to keep this short so we can dive in. But here's what to expect. I'll be talking about what Ready For The One is all about: who's it for, what it does for single Christian women, what each module looks like, what's inside of the course, some results from past RFTO students. And then I'll be gushing about what RFTO means to me as a child of a broken home and what I hope to achieve for women around the world.  

Now, you maybe didn't know this, but this is my favorite time of the year right now. With Christmas around the corner I start to feel extra generous and jolly. That’s when I love to do a FREE Masterclass.  That means that if you've been thinking about getting into a relationship, I’ve got a seat with your name on it. This week, I’ll be sharing my five secrets to attracting a Godly Husband. You have from now until 11:59 p.m. Pacific Standard Time on Tuesday, December 7th, 2021, to grab a seat and join us.   

So I love this Masterclass so much because it walks you through the 5 spiritual bypasses that keep women stuck and shows you the truth-based secrets that will set you free. You'll have so much to glean from this 60 minute free session that I know you’re going to love, and it's yours for free until the end of the day on Tuesday, December 7.  

So hurry over. Go to http://www.proverbs2426.com/secrets

To register for free. I’ve also created a workbook to go along with it and I’ve got a great surprise bonus that you’re going to love, just for showing up.  

All right. Without waiting a moment more, let's talk all about Ready For The One.

First things first. I want to make sure we're hyper clear on exactly what Ready For The One is, which I just call RFTO. And trust me when I say I've searched high and low, and I strongly feel that RFTO  is the most comprehensive program for dating, courting and validating a romantic relationship and preparing for marriage. It really is the only implementation program of its kind. And it not only shows you exactly how to move past each relationship milestone—I literally walk you through my exact road map that I've used and perfected over the years—but it also shows you exactly how to honor your relationship with God and yourself, every step of the way. 

It's really the complete package put into six modules that span over the course of 9 weeks. And by the end of those modules, you walk away with a clear understanding of how you are going to honor your God-given desire for marriage, move forward, and let it happen. Above all, RFTO will give you the confidence to finally start taking your desire for love seriously, select men who are well suited and love the Lord (maybe even more than you do), and make the leap from single to married without a whole lot of drama, confusion and overwhelm. Love and Clarity is what RFTO  is all about. 

So that's it in a nutshell. And I'm going to break it down into what those six modules are in a minute. But before we get there, I want to drill down on exactly who RFTO is for.  

While I believe that any woman can truly enjoy a Christ-centered marriage, of course I do have an ideal community. I believe that while my ideal student is a good representation of who RFTO is made for, that doesn't mean that they speak on behalf of my entire community. They represent the common needs, desires, fears, and challenges of a RFTO student, but in no way do they represent the diversity of demographics and life experiences that make someone a good fit for the program.  

RFTO is best for someone who knows who wants to honor their relationship with God first and foremost.  But this by no means should suggest that it is for “perfect Christians” in fact it’s more for those who sometimes struggle with their faith and wrestle with The Lord. RFTO helps women embrace the truth of who they are and their relationship with God, whatever that looks like at the moment. 

So this student that I have in mind for RFTO also has a burning desire for marriage. They are not satisfied with the common advice to just put God first and wait on the Lord, mostly because they’ve been doing that, and nothing has changed. 

Sometimes I feel like single women and Job have a lot in common. There’s you are, sitting there in your loneliness and when your friends come around to comfort you, they end up making you feel a lot worse.
They blame you for doing something wrong, whether it’s wanting to much or trying to hard, or not surrendering it to God. But you know in your heart that you’re doing the best you can. 

My ideal student is also patient, and they don't need to be married in the next 90 days. Sure, they'd love to, but they know it's going to take a bit of time. And most importantly, they’re not willing to sacrifice their standards to avoid loneliness. Been there done that, not doing it again. 

What's most important to my ideal community who purchases RFTO is that they want to see their effort and energy pay off, and I totally respect that. They can ideally invest five to seven hours per week learning the relationship skills and doing the work. And they're not going to quit the first time something doesn't go according to plan, because we know not everything works out perfectly.  

And they are deeply motivated by the opportunity to grow, spiritually and emotionally along the way.  They're motivated by the idea of becoming more Christ-like and cultivating the Fruit of the Holy Spirit as fuel for everything they do along the way from here to matrimony. And they're excited to finally be able to work on their romantic relationship skills instead of just waiting for someone to come along. When you have stronger relationship skills you can talk other’s more freely, set boundaries, show more love and respect and ultimately be more of yourself.   

And above all, an RFTO student is tired of falling victim to their own internal excuses and external obstacles. They're finally ready to change the narrative and try something new. And they're ready to and need to get out of the fear and frustration mode and start operating from a place of love and expectancy. 

Next stop, let's talk about how RFTO has supported other women and what it's actually solved for them in their love lives. Everything from what to do first on a first date to how to set boundaries to planning for your honeymoon and everything in between, RFTO covers it all.  

So for starters, I talk to a lot of students who have questions like how courtship could transform their relationship journey, or can dating really honor God? And they ask me questions like, “Well, what if I don't have any experience,” or “What if I feel lost in the sense like I have no idea what to do first?”  

So RFTO literally starts with the end in mind and begins by walking you through the process of taking back your God ordained power and free will so that you can start co-creating a marriage with Christ. . This includes s getting hyper clear on what you want; who you're looking for what type of marriage you’d like —yeah, there's different types of marriages—and what you'll be doing along the way. So that's where we start.  

Now, once you walk through these one at a time in RFTO, you'll be set up for some serious relationship success. Plus, at this point, everything else starts to fall into place, and you'll never wonder where to start again.  

Now, mindset issues are another common hurdle that most humans struggle with. RFTO students, however, don't have to, and here’s why. RFTO  provides students with a daily devotional program that teaches you to take every thought captive and how to being adopting the mind of Christ. I love sharing my favorite coaching tool, the life code because it’s such a game-changer. I can’t begin to tell you what a difference it will make when you really understand where your emotions are coming from and how to cultivate more love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control. 

In fact, one of my students said, “The life code changes everything. Using it daily has helped me feel in control again. I no longer feel like a victim of my own mind and the toxic thoughts that used to keep me up all night. I had no idea it was possible to rewire my own brain like this. With the Life Code and RFTO I always know that I can come back to a safe place in Christ and I no longer have to beat myself up for being human. ” 

Oh, my goodness. Hearing my students say things like that, I'm over the moon because that's exactly what I wanted to do in this course: teach you what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. And I never want your brain to be an excuse for not achieving you God-given desires. That's why I really, really make it an effort in the course to walk you through it.  

 

Now, time commitment is also something that RFTO is extremely mindful of. A lot of my students have a lot going on. They’re professionals and students, they’re single moms and widows.  So they’re working hard and supporting themselves and their families and I respect that. So there's a lot of different journeys, or people on different journeys going through RFTO. And many of them have families, very typically demanding days and lives, so I take that all into account.  

And while we do have the program live for a 9-week span, students actually get lifetime access to the core program, along with all future updates to the program so that they can go through it at their own pace, on their time, over and over again if they want. If there's a video you want to watch three times, go for it. It's yours to keep.  

I also offer accountability through my group coaching experience so my students can create a community of like-minded individuals who can keep them on track, keep them honest, and support them as they move through any challenges or mindset hurdles that might come up, which they will. So I love to see my students in Marco Polo each day, sharing their wins, talking about their struggles and praying for one another. And I’ll be there too. It’s like having a coach in your pocket. You can leave a quick video message with your questions, comments, or ah-ha moments and I will be there with a response. I’ve got you covered.  

Okay. Switching gears just a bit. I want to take some time to walk you through the modules that are found in RFTO and why they're an important part of the process of establishing a Christ-centered marriage. As I mentioned earlier, module one is all about taking full responsibility for your love life - because it gets you out of that "damsel in distress" victim mentality and puts you back in the driver seat for making Christ-centred decisions about who you choose to love and why. 

In this module, you're going to Stop trying to force relationships and wasting time in overwhelm and Start making choices that honor God and the dreams He has hidden in your heart. 

So important.  

Okay. Module two is all about knowing your worth.

I always say, when you know who you are and whose you are, you’ll never settle for less than God’s best. 

Learn to trust yourself, God, and men again so that you can start creating a love story that demonstrates the faithfulness of the Lord in this world. 

You'll start by identifying who you want, what you want, and why you want it. These key decisions will give you TOTAL clarity about where you're going and how you'll get there. 

By embracing your true identity in Christ, you can approach love and relationships from a place of confident assurance in who He created you to be. Overcome the temptation to people please and lie to keep other people happy by cherishing your core values and unique qualities.

 

I Never want you to go on another date feeling love-starved. Prevent mistakes by practicing my 7 practical principles for starting a new relationship with integrity and confidence. 

Plus you’ll learn how to avoid sabotaging your relationship by managing your expectations and recognizing manipulative tendencies in yourself and others. 

I’ll teach you how to craft an irresistible offer that attracts quality men and protects you from narcissists and others who will hurt you, use you, and waste your time.

 

All right. Module three is where I walk you through the process of creating your own Holy Spirit-inspired dating protocol. 

Deliberate dating means dating with intention and Godly purpose. This is one of my favorite modules to teach!

Raise your hand if you've ever had this problem…

You hope to make an excellent first impression, so you take out literally every piece of clothing you own, try it all on, hate everything, and debate canceling the date. Then you spend almost 3 hours working on your hair and makeup only to leave the house feeling like you've been attacked by a parade of clowns and their makeup brushes. 

Everything spirals out of control, and getting ready for a date has left you feeling like a hot mess!

Yep, I totally get it! We've all done it. 

But I have since discovered there's an art and science to first impressions. 

As a woman, you want to express your femininity. You want to look your best, dare I say, sexy? But, not like you're trying. You still want to be modest and classy. The last thing you want to do is send the wrong signals.

That's why in Module 3, you'll get access to the exact formula you need to send the right signals to the right men, both online and in the real world.

Making a great first impression is a skill that you can learn and master. Show up feeling confident, brilliant, and beautiful in every area of your life without destroying your closet.

Highlights:

You’re going to be intentional about meeting quality men even if you attend a small church or live in a little town. Be strategic about positioning yourself in the way of love so that you never have to try and chase it down. 

I’ll show you how to decide on your personal dating protocol. Set your own rules according to what you feel led to do through the guidance and wisdom of the Holy Spirit. This is the best way to help you be successful and safe. 

Plus, you’re going to need to understand the subtle art and science of making a glowing first impression while establishing trust and honest communication right from the beginning. 

I’m going to help you Transition through the dating phase efficiently while collecting the necessary information to make an informed decision about whether or not to proceed to the next stage of the relationship. 

 

 

Next up, module four, especially important for my students who second guess themselves or spend a lot of sleepless nights regretting their past decisions. 

Choosing who you're going to spend the rest of your life with is one of the most important decisions you'll ever make, so learn the art of making Christ-centered decisions guided by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, 

Not only are you entering into a holy covenant with this man, but he will also have a tremendous impact on your children, family, finances, faith, and every other area of your life.

You have deep and important questions to work through, but the answers aren't out in the world somewhere. The answers are hidden in your heart, being whispered to you by that still small voice within. 

In this powerful module, you'll learn to quiet the chaos in your mind and recognize the voice of the Good Shepherd who is guiding you forward. 

 

I know you don't want to stay stuck in indecision, confusion, or overwhelm. This module will help you make Christ-centered decisions that set you free. 

Enjoy more time with God. I designed this entire program to help you take your relationship with Christ to a deeper level. Take all your cares and worries to Him and learn to hear His answers.

Stop beating yourself up. Let go of perfectionism and finally embrace the reality of life on Earth, the good, bad and ugly, knowing at the deepest level that ALL things are working for your good.

 

See how that comes together? 

Now, if you've listened to past episodes, you know how important communication is to a relationship. That’s why I’ve devoted an entire module to make sure you know how to do it within the context of a micro commitment. Ie courtship.  

Module five. Okay. 

Courtship is a beautiful and necessary bridge between dating and engagement.

Unfortunately, within modern dating culture, it is terribly misunderstood, overlooked, and underutilized. As a result, romantic relationships get stuck in the "wait and see" zone until they inevitably fall apart. 

Don't let that happen to you. 

Courtship isn't rigid, old-fashioned, or outdated. It works, and it feels incredible because you're both on the same page and know exactly where the relationship is headed.

This module will show you how to talk about your courtship and transition the relationship to the next level without scaring him off. 

Highlights:

• I’m going to help you learn everything you need to know about courtship and how to make it work for you and your relationship.
• Use micro-commitments to move the relationship forward and experience more love and healthy intimacy in the process.
• What to do during courtship and the ten key categories you must discuss before getting engaged.  
• How to harmonize, not compromise, so you both get what you want from the relationship.

 

 

And last but certainly not least, module six  is all about preparing for marriage. 

You might not need this one right away, but once you know that he is the one for you, there are a few more things you’ll put in place to ensure your marriage is built to last a lifetime. 

In the final module, you’ll tackle the 3 biggest obstacles that come up between married couples. Sex and Money and Conflict. 

Establish your marriage on a solid, Christ-centered foundation by working through these issues in advance so there are no misunderstandings or surprises later on. 

Then, in the final lesson, we will talk about how to make sure you have a honeymoon experience worth remembering.

Highlights:

• Make the transition from “me to we” with intentional clarity and understanding.
• Develop a deeper level of intimacy with your fiancé as you prepare for a lifetime of committed godly love. 
• Give yourself peace of mind knowing that you have prayerfully considered everything and can enter into the holy covenant of marriage with humble assurance that there are no secrets between the two of you.

 

Now, this is important because you want to stand at that wedding altar 100% confident in your decision to marry that man. No cold feet here.

Okay. So that was a lot to cover, but it doesn't stop there. On top of those modules, I’ve also included weekly group coaching. Now the cool thing about this is, ever Saturday during the 9 weeks of the program, you’ll be invited to join me and all the other students on zoom to ask questions and get coached. 

I’ve never offered this as part of the program before so I am really excited to bring you altogether because I know you will learn as much from one another as you do from me. 

And all these sessions will be saved for you in a growing video library so you never have to worry about missing out on a session. 

Now, what's cool is you also receive Private coaching sessions. Yes, I am offering students a weekly 20 minute session with me during my office hours which are Tuesday and wednesday. I look forward to the group sessions, but I also understand that there are some things you’d rather discuss in private. So I’ve cleared my calendar to make more time to support you on your journey. 

All right, now let's have a heart to heart. I wanted to share a little bit about what RFTO means to me and why I created the program. I created it because I know what's possible with a Christ-centered marriage. I also know the pain and heartache that comes from being in toxic relationships. 

As a child, my family was really dysfunctional and abusive. I said I would do things differently as an adult, but honestly, the first significant decision I made out of highschool was to marry my boyfriend and continue the cycle.

Thankfully, it didn’t take too long for me to realize I had made a massive mistake and I got divorced shortly thereafter. 

Years later when I met the right man for me, I decided that I really needed help to avoid sabotaging a good thing or exposing my future children to the kind of past I grew up in. 

 I started studying everything I could get my hands on to help me prepare for marriage, and I guess I just never stopped. 

Over the years, I continued to learn and share my knowledge and Ready For The One is the culmination of everything I’ve learned along the way, from my own experience and through coaching others. This year, I was very proud to bless 10 other women with scholarships participat in the program who would not have been able to so otherwise. 

Because I know that a healthy and stable marriage makes a world of difference for women. It’s hard to be all that you can be when you’re with a partner who doesn’t respect and support you. Worse if there’s any kind of violence or abusive behaviour in the mix. 

And here's the thing. Being confidently married to a godly man with Christ at the center of our lives is THE single greatest blessing in my life.  

For me, It is the most powerful and exciting way to impact the world while raising a family and sharing the gospel.  

My marriage allows me to grow spiritually every day and fulfill my deepest desire to be a loving wife and mom of two beautiful little girls. 

While other marriages are falling apart and suffering from a lack of trust, intimacy, love, and respect, a thriving marriage stands as a shining testimony of what is possible through the love of Christ. 

 

It's the only type of marriage that gives others any real hope and the courage to believe that true love still exists. 

 

You can impact the world through your marriage while staying true to your identity in Christ and being fully known and cherished by the love of your life. 

 

You don't have to stay where you are right now. Sure, you might be there temporarily, but I see big things for you. You don't have to stay single just because God hasn’t dropped of Mr. Right on your doorstep. You don't have to live without love. And You can let go of the regrets. You are smart enough and determined enough and worthy of having a Christ-centered marriage that allows you to enjoy all the love you’ve ever imagined. I created RFTO to be that support for you, to be the solution to get you from your temporary place, where you are right here, right now, to accomplish your big, bold dreams and God-given desires.  I’ll basically be your guide and RFTO will be the roadmap to get you there.  

So there you have it. I wanted to spend a little time letting you know why I created RFTO, what RFTO can do for you, and what's included inside the program. RFOT is transformative. I've seen it time and time again with my students, and I know the power of this program.  

I hope you enjoyed an insider's view of RFTO. If you want more, and to actually start gaining some clarity and making progress towards creating your God-given desire for a Christ-centered marriage, enrollment is now open and I would love to see you inside. . So go to https://www.proverbs2426.com/join

That’s  https://www.proverbs2426.com/join 

Thanks for joining me today. I hope to see you inside Ready For The One.

Until next time, God Bless You.