# 47: Let Your No Be No: How To Make Decisions

 Use your free will to be more Christ-like


Have you been thinking about working with me? If so, today, I wanted to talk with you about what being a coaching client is all about.


In this episode, I'm' going to share with you a process for making important decisions about how and where you invest your time, energy, money, and effort. Then, I'm' going to give you the details about all the things you get when you become a VIP coaching client with me. 


And I'm' going to talk to you about why your brain might be freaking out right now when you think about committing yourself to the journey of building a Christ-centered marriage.  


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I know it's' scary to show up for love and risk heartache and rejection. But if you have a God-given desire for romantic love and marriage, and you're' not doing everything within your power to achieve that desire, you're' already experiencing heartache and rejection. You're' just doing it to yourself.

If you're interested in coaching with me:

Please check out my VIP 2022 Private Coaching Offer before Oct 29, 2021


Or my standard coaching packages here>>


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Forever Love Podcast Episode #47 | Transcript


The Power of Coaching.


Should we work together? 


Welcome to the Forever Love Podcast; I’m your host and relationship coach Lily Mtongwiza

Have you been thinking about working with me? If so today, I wanted to talk with you about what being a coaching client is all about.


In this episode, I’m going to share with you a process for making important decisions about how and where you invest your time, energy, money, and effort. Then, I’m going to give you the details about all the things you get when you become a VIP coaching client with me. 


Then I’m going to answer some questions that come up most often.


And I’m going to talk to you about why your brain might be freaking out right now when you think about committing yourself to the journey of building a Christ-centered marriage.  


Which is what happens when we think about doing something new. 


And I want to preface this all by asking you if it wasn’t about the money because a year of coaching is a big investment… 


But if it wasn’t about the money… 


What’s stopping you? 


Just take a moment to sit with that question, because there are a few answers that come up a lot. 


The first one being…


I’m not sure if I’ll actually find someone.

Let me assure you I get it.  You want a guarantee. But the reality is, there are no guarantees in life. We’re not guaranteed tomorrow, let alone a Godly husband. 


And we are going to talk about this more in a few minutes, but for now, I just want to say that refusing to move forward without a guarantee will only guarantee that you never achieve your God-given desire.


I mean, that’s what the guy in the parable of the talents did, right?


He didn’t have a guarantee of a return on investment, so he refused to take any risks with the master’s money and just buried it.


And what was Jesus’s response?


“You wicked and lazy servant.”


I know it’s scary to show up for love and risk heartache and rejection. But if you have a God-given desire for romantic love and marriage, and you’re not doing everything within your power to achieve that desire, you’re already experiencing heartache and rejection. You’re just doing it to yourself.

So I want to start by reintroducing myself because maybe you’ve only just learned about me and my work, and you’re brand new to the podcast.


And if that’s the case… Welcome. I’m so honored that you’ve chosen to spend your time here with me today.


If, on the other hand, you’ve been following me or the podcast for a little while, I want to thank you for your love and support. The encouragement and testimonials that come from this intimate little community of women have been so profound and heartwarming. So thank you! 


I started helping women build better relationships 4 years ago, just after our second daughter was born. I’m a mom of 2 and married to an amazing man, and we have a phenomenal marriage. Which has come as quite a shock to me because I spent a lot of my time previously believing that someone would have to be crazy to love someone like me. 


And not because there was anything inherently wrong with me.


I was and am a highly educated, fantastic woman with a true zeal for life. 


I finished university, had an incredible job working with disadvantaged youth, and was living my life.  


But, when Lovingson, my husband, started to show an interest in me, I naturally assumed he was crazy and/or only interested in one thing. 


Obviously, that’s not the best way to wart off a relationship, and it didn’t take long before I very nearly sabotaged the whole thing. 


If you’re curious about the full back story, I highly recommend you go check out episodes 1 through 12 where I share the gory details of my dysfunctional approach to love. 


Thankfully, I became aware of what I was doing and experienced a total u-turn in my life, and began learning everything I could about romantic love and how to express it in a good way for me and bring glory to God.


I made a lot of mistakes along the way. Still, over the last 8 years, I have devoted myself to studying relationships and living my life fuelled by the fruit of the Holy Spirit, and honoring my God-given desire for a Christ-centered marriage. Now I help other women do the same. 


Now those two things, relationships and living a Christ-centered life, are my passion. It’s enriched my life and allowed my husband and I to enjoy a delightful- though not necessarily easy - life together.


A couple of years ago, we decided to pack up everything and move from Canada to Zimbabwe, where he is from. Now I spend my days homeschooling our girls, studying love, communication, and Christ-centered principles for living,  and helping women like you honor their God-given desires, especially when it comes to their desire for marriage. 

When I started working as a coach, I wanted to help anybody with anything.


But over time, it became evident that I could make the most significant impact by helping single women avoid many of the pitfalls that appear on the path to marriage.


As someone who got married very young for all the wrong reasons and went through a divorce at the age of 24, I wanted to make sure I never experienced anything like that again because divorce is devastating.


There are a lot of books and coaches out there who will help you try to restore your marriage down the road. Still, I believe you can avoid many issues by being better equipped to attract an emotionally and spiritually mature man and building a relationship upon a solid foundation through Christ-centered tools and principles. 


That led me to focus my content on Proverbs 24:26 . COM to serving single women with a desire for marriage. One of my goals is to make sure that I always share my tools and insights in a way that’s accessible to anyone with an internet connection.


One of the things I’m proud of is this podcast and how it is touching lives around the world. I love being able to coach and encourage you and thousands of other women each week for free. I want everyone to know about my favorite tools and concepts, especially The Life Code, which helps us to adopt the mind of Christ, cultivate the fruit of the Holy Spirit and take fruit-fuelled action towards our God-given desire.


I think everybody should understand this tool, because it has completely changed my life.


I don’t know about you, but I have heard a lot of great preaching about how we should live as Christians, and I thought, yeah, that’s great, I totally want to do that, but HOW.


Well, the life code is how. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out Episode 5, where I explain how to use this incredible tool. 


But these concepts are just the beginning. 


The real transformation takes place when you put these concepts into practice—especially learning to adopt the mind of Christ. There’s a serious lack of teaching in this area, and a lot of people are left feeling really stuck. 


But if you can manage your mind and identify the lies while incorporating the truth which sets you free, while also experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions without fear or judgement, then you begin to act in ways that naturally honor God and allow you to grow into the most Christ-like version of yourself. 


Of course, that’s a lifelong process, but it is much more doable than you currently realize. 


We all have to deal with temptation, urges, and sin in our lives, and if you’re anything like me, there are probably areas in your life where you’ve felt completely helpless.


Whether that’s being judgemental or entitled, or out of control in your addictions to momentary pleasures like scrolling, swiping, drinking, eating, binging, or whatever. We all have these areas in our lives where we are praying for a little bit more self-control. 


The problem is, most of us are going about self-control all wrong. 


Instead of seeing an improvement in our behavior, we tend to try as hard as possible, fail. Then beat ourselves up, saying unmentionable things about how pathetic, stupid or miserable we are. 


Sadly, in this pit of shame and despair, when we need God’s love most, we tend to feel furthest from him. 


I want you to know, I get it. 


I get it. And there is a better way. 


This podcast is my attempt to introduce you to the solutions that have worked in my own life and help every woman who listens improve her relationship with herself, God and those around her, which particular attention to any romantic relationships. 


When women write back to me and share how my work and this podcast have made an impact on their lives, I’m incredibly humbled and in awe of God and His ability to work with me and through me. 


I am honoured that my work is out there completely changing lives and helping women enjoy healthy, equally yoked relationships that are in alignment with their faith and values.


That is just beyond delightful on so many levels. 


After that, I created Ready For The One, my signature course for single women, which guides you step-by-step past the milestones between single and married.


It’s a very affordable way for you to get extraordinary coaching and support on your journey towards marriage with lots of opportunities for you to learn and grow through instructional videos, group coaching, and daily devotionals and so much more. I have packed a ton of value into this program to make sure you are well equipped with the skills and tools you need to establish and develop a relationship.


It’s an intensive 10-week online program I run a couple of times a year, and it is designed to get you taking action and living into your God-given desire for marriage through Christ-centered principles. It is a very intimate experience with a small group of women where I get to know my students and support them on their journey. I love this program because it propels you forward as you become more intentional about what you’re doing and how you’re doing it. 


The next opportunity to join will be in December, and I can’t wait because if you think listening to the podcast is amazing, Ready For The One takes it to a whole new level. 

So there’s the podcast, then there’s Ready For the One, which is $997, which will be available in December, and then there’s VIP Coaching. 


Now, I call it VIP because You, my friend are a daughter of the most-high God, not because I think one person is any better than another. 


VIP coaching is for those who want to fully commit to the journey ahead. They want to go all in on their own transformation into a Godly wife and their desire for marriage.


They want to use the tools I teach daily to actually retrain their brain to stop living in survival mode and start thriving. Not only that, but they want to understand their blind spots and expose the lies so that the truth of God can free them. 


I help them with that by creating a sacred space each week where they can come and lay down all the thoughts and emotions that have been swirling around in their lives, and we can begin to break it all down and process it. 


This coaching package is a year-long, and we use your life as the curriculum. Whatever you’re dealing with, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, that is what we use to grow. So it’s a highly individualized experience. 


Private coaching allows you to master the tools and turn your obstacle into the path for becoming more Christ-like and achieving your God-given desires. 


It is absolutely possible for you to create that vision you’ve got tucked away in your heart. You have a unique opportunity to build a relationship and ultimately a marriage that is based on desire rather than necessity.


And that is such a unique privilege that generations of women never got to experience. 


As bad as marriages are these days, I believe we are at a unique point in human history where we can have marriages that express the love of Christ more authentically than ever, and it’s my goal to equip as many women as possible for that ministry. 


So for those who feel called to marriage, I’m here to support and equip you because your marriage matters. The world needs to know that true, Christ-centered love exists between husbands and wives. 


Sadly, I think that the last 50 or so years of teaching on this topic have done more damage than good because the results speak for themselves. Women need to be more empowered in their choices, and those choices need to be fuelled by love, peace, and joy. 


Not fear, necessity, or other people’s expectations. 


So I’m here teaching women how to stop searching for the truth in the world around them and start experiencing and living into the truth that comes directly from God through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. 


Because the answers you’re searching for will never come from an external source when you have Christ living in your heart. 


Through private coaching, I help you tune in to that still small voice and act upon the truth so that ultimately you hear those words we’re all longing to hear.


“Well done, good and faithful servant.”

One of the things I teach all my students is that you’ve got to give from a place of abundance without the fear of giving too much, and that’s something I try to live out in my own life, especially in my business. 


I try to give away as much value as possible for free through the podcast and our Facebook community.


And in both my course and private coaching package, I always aim to ensure that when people pay me, they always get way more value than they’ve paid for. 


My goal is to create a spirit of generosity so that you, in turn, can give more to those around you, and together, we overcome that limiting fear of scarcity. 


I think we spend so much of our lives holding back in fear of being ripped off or taken advantage of, and I just don’t want to live like that anymore. I want to give and do so with abundance and a glad heart, and I want to encourage you to do the same because we know that we’re tapping into deep, deep wells. 

So that’s a little bit about me and my coaching practice and what I offer. 


These are the things I’d like you to understand before you consider joining this community because we are intentionally cultivating the belief that it is possible for you to achieve all of your God-given desires. 


I believe that your desire for a Christ-centered marriage comes from God and that it is 100% within your ability to enjoy the fullest expression of that love. 


My heart breaks for those who have been discouraged and shamed for having that desire. I think it’s awful how little care and support is given to single women in the church, and I hope that you will go out and encourage one another as I encourage you. 


I believe that your God-given desires are the road map to where God is leading you. 


I know that’s hard to hear when we’ve grown up with messages like “what you want doesn’t matter, and stop being so selfish.” 


Sadly, I think many people have lived their entire lives trying to meet other people’s expectations of who they should be and what they should be doing.


I know I spent years stuck in that trap, and I can’t tell you how amazing it is to know they were wrong. There is no conflict between the best version of me and the most Christ-like version of me. They are the same. 


There’s a lot of other voices out there trying to dictate what you should do. 


And what I want to talk to you about today is the power of making decisions. 


Because you have to decide to get married, you can’t just wait for it to happen to you. 


Women tell me all the time, “I’m waiting on the lord, and if it’s meant to be, God will do it.” 


And it breaks my heart because then they spend years and years waiting and wondering what’s wrong with them. After all, God didn’t bless them with a husband or family. 


Please do not settle for fantasizing about marriage. 


You have to make a decision to get married and be a wife. 


Otherwise, you will spend your entire life sitting in the waiting room while your life passes you by, and you’ll be just like the guy who buried his master’s talents thinking he was doing a good thing, only to discover he was painfully wrong. 


I don’t want that to happen to you. And I know people have told you to wait on the Lord and that what I’m about to say probably flies in the face of everything you think a good Christian woman should do… but stay with me a moment. 


Because what I want to teach you here today is how to let your yes be yes, and your no be no.


Let me ask you this…


How much of your life have you spent in the maybe zone? 


Maybe I’ll get married; maybe I’ll go back to school. Maybe I’ll have kids someday. 


It seems so accepting and open to whatever God brings into our lives, doesn’t it? 


But it’s just a clever way of trying to avoid disappointment.


James 1:6 says


Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.

Letting your yes be yes isn’t just about being honest. It’s about being decisive. 


Our gift of free will is so precious and valuable that God was willing to give it to us at the expense of his own son’s blood. 


And yet, most of us go through our entire life failing to use it or appreciate it. 


Instead, we spend all of our energy trying to change the things that are entirely out of our control, like other people. 


Most of us never experience the power of doing all things through Christ because we never decide what it is we’re going to do. 


I know how absurd it is because I still catch myself doing it. I will say things like, “Lord, whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. I just don’t know what you want me to do. And the thing I want to do, well, that big vision in my heart, well, that’s hard so I guess you don’t want me to do that. 


Here’s what I mean; 


You give away all your power when you say no to something because it’s not easy to achieve. It’s passive and defeated before you even begin.


For example, you’ll say something like…


“I’d really like to, but I can’t right now; maybe someday I’ll get to.”

There’s no power in that decision. No authority or dominion. Just helplessness and defeat. 

What Jesus asks of us and what I’d like to teach you today is how to let your decision be a yes or a no and then commit to that decision wholeheartedly. 


This way, your commitments aren’t based on convenience or ease; they’re based on intention and integrity. 


So here’s an example; 


We’ve been talking about online dating in the Facebook community this month, and maybe you’ve been thinking about trying it; you’re not really sure you like the idea of it, you don’t hate it, but you don’t love it either. 


You’re in this place of maybe - or indecision. 


So you haven’t signed up for it, and you haven’t gone all-in on real-life options either. You’re just kind of going along, getting more and more aggravated by the fact that you’re still single and nothing works for you. 


This is where I see so many women get stuck.


They’re single, but they’re not enjoying all the blessings of being single. They don’t feel called to singleness. Instead, they feel forgotten and maybe even punished or undeserving. 


So they miss out on living their best life here and now, hoping that one day they will be married and life will be better. 


At the same time, they’re not committed to get married either, so they aren’t showing up or introducing themselves; they’re not making plans that include a significant other. 


In fact, one woman told me that she is making plans for her future, and they all involve being single. So even though she wants to be married, she’s actively planning for singleness. 

Then we justify all this in the name of practicality and being realistic. 


But at the end of the day, you’re creating a future that is out of alignment with your God-given desires, and you’re exhausted because all your energy is being used up on things you’ve got no passion for. Ultimately, life becomes rather dull, which further enforces the story that you’re not attractive, and no one is interested in you. 


It’s an ugly, vicious cycle that is easy to break by making intentional decisions. 

Listen, this is not just you. This is exactly how most people go through their entire life! And then we wonder why the world is a mess. Frankly, it’s pretty obvious to me. 


They’re living halfheartedly, being bumped along by trends and opinions, trying not to upset anyone, and just doing what they gotta do to get by. Life’s hard enough without upsetting the apple cart. 


What I want you to do is make a decision. 


I don’t expect everyone to love the idea of online dating, but I do want you to say, “NO, I’m not going to use that tool. Instead, I’m going to take all that indecisive energy and focus it on getting out in my community and meeting new people and making real-life connections until I find someone who wants to enjoy a Christ-centered marriage with me.” 




You could say Yes! I’m going for it, I’m going to learn how to use this tool effectively, I’m going to introduce myself to as many men as I can and really see what it’s like to create an online connection, and then I’m going to find a way to transition that from online to real life and get married. 


But most women won’t do that.


Instead, they’ll refuse online dating until you’re feeling lonely and bored one night. Then getting, at 11:15 pm, you’ll start an account, get hit on by a couple of losers, get mad, stay up until 3 am talking to a guy who seems half-decent, get ghosted and then delete the app vowing never to touch them again because all men are jerks. 

Do you see the difference here between Yes, No and that indecisive, maybe? 


I want you to say yes to your God-given desire for marriage, and I want you to invite me along to support you on your journey as your coach. 


But if it’s not a yes, I want it to be a no, not a maybe. 


Because if you can commit to that no, you will have so much more energy to use in other areas of your life. 


At the very least, I hope to free you from that place of “maybe someday.” 


I want you to live a whole and Christ-centered life where you are doing big and little things for the Glory and honor of God. Whether that’s getting married, raising babies, going on mission trips, supporting your community, or getting a Ph.D. in marine biology. I want you to be all in. 


Live out your vision to the fullest and choose what you’re doing on purpose. 


You know one of the most underappreciated fruits of the Holy Spirit is faithfulness. That ability to commit to something and go for it with everything we’ve got.


I want to help you cultivate that. Because it will serve you whether you’re struggling with a work goal or a life goal. Faithfulness is what gets us to the finish line. 


And just because you made a decision in the past doesn’t mean you have to be a slave to that choice forever. You also get to re-decide and re-commit as often as you want. 


And you might choose something different, but at least it will be an intentional choice rather than just waiting to see what happens and pretending to be satisfied with that. 


Now, all of these decisions come at a cost, but probably not the way you’d expect. 


Because there are a lot of hidden costs to not choosing, like feeling discouraged, exhausted, frustrated, bored, feeling bad about yourself, bad about your life. These emotions suck the life right out of us. 


But that’s a little more familiar and therefore comfortable than the feelings that come up when we take bold and decisive action. 


So we choose bored instead of vulnerable

And frustration instead of rejection


So at the end of the day, you feel burned out and overwhelmed and exhausted even though you haven’t done anything. 


And that’s because you haven’t released any of the power within you to do incredible things by honoring your God-given desires. 


Ultimately, your life will be determined by a handful of key decisions you make.


For me, one of those decisions was to be a wife.


Whether I was going to marry Lovingson or someone else, I finally got to the point where I decided that I wanted to be married and stopped waiting for a man to come along and choose me before deciding if I wanted to marry him. 


I am already chosen. 


And I wanted to be a wife. 

And every day, I get to recommit to my decision to be a wife. And I love it. 

That decision fuels me, which is essential because marriage isn’t always easy, just like singleness. 


We experience crisis and disappointment and everything else that goes along with a human experience. But we choose to experience it together as husband and wife. 

Hopefully, by now, you’re all in on your decision to get married or not. 


And if so, I want you to make a second decision about whether or not you want me to come alongside you as a coach and witness your growth and transformation. 


I want you to take this decision very seriously. 


Come away from maybe and let your yes be yes, or your no be no. 


Decisions are made in the moment, and you already know in your heart what you desire. So please don’t fool yourself into believing you don’t know, or you’ll make the decision later. 


It doesn’t serve you to pretend you don’t already know and that you will think about it later. 


Make choices. Be decisive. 


And know that you can always change your mind. 


It’s far more powerful to say no now and then change your mind and say yes later. 


Think of the two sons who were asked by their father to go and work. 


The first said yes, and made another decision later not to. 


The second son said no, and later changed his mind. 


Both made clear decisions. 


Ultimately, we are all responsible for the decisions we make. So make them with intention. 


So let’s talk about how to make decisions. 


The first thing you need to do is become educated about all your options. 


And we’re going to work with the example of deciding whether or not to take advantage of my 2022 coaching offer. 


Of course, the steps will be the same no matter what decision you’re making, but this decision is most relevant to what we’re talking about here today, and I want you to walk away with a decision you feel great about. 


So ask yourself; what are my options? 


Let’s write them down. 


In this situation, your options are very simple. 


You’re working with me as your coach to get married. 




You’re not. 


These are the only two options, and we’ve eliminated the maybe in between. 




With those two options written down, you’re going to answer 4 simple questions. 


Here’s the first one, and I want you to focus on your answer, not just the question.  


Don’t let your brain hang out in that space of “that’s a good question. Let me think about that for a couple of weeks.” 


Your brain will most definitely want to stall and avoid answering, so just be on to yourself and answer the question. 


You’ll want to write these down. 


Here’s the first one; 


What decision brings you closer to who you want to be, even if you fail? 


That fear of failure will keep you from taking action towards your God-given desires, and that’s why God is constantly reminding us, fear not. 


Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying. It doesn’t mean everything you do will always succeed 110% guaranteed. 


Fear not, means don’t let the possibility of failure stop you. 


So really think about this; which decision brings you closer to who you want to be. When you imagine the most Christ-like version of yourself, which decision helps get you there? 


I want you to really be intentional about who you are becoming rather than fixating on who you are. 


Because every day, through Christ, we’re invited to renew our minds and die to self and that persona of who we are to embrace who we are capable of becoming. 


Here’s the next question: 


What is the best-case scenario, three years from now, with both options? 


So, if you choose the path of coaching, where could you be in three years. 


If you choose the path of what you’re already doing, where could you be? 


Best case scenario for each. 


This is powerful because naturally, we want to imagine the worst-case scenario as if that is reality. 


So best case scenario with coaching could be that you learn a ton of new skills and tools, require your brain for love and joy, attract an equally yoked partner, get married, and have a fantastic relationship.


Not only that but you spend the next year consistently developing your relationship with God and yourself. You learn more about yourself and create even more possibilities from your newly developed capacity to be courageous and confident. 


You like yourself more than ever, and you have a trusted friend and ally bearing witness to your growth every step of the way. 


What else could be possible for you through coaching? Really give yourself permission to imagine the best-case scenario. What else do you want? Because I promise I can help you create it. 


And then what is the best-case scenario if you don’t get coached? 


Probably it’s going to be; you don’t have to step outside your comfort zone. There’s no risk or rejection. You get to stay the same and do what you’re used to. There are no growing pains or disappointments. 


You don’t have to be scared or vulnerable or show up. You don’t have to worry about what men will think about you.


You get to stay the same and see what happens. 


But personally, for me, that wasn’t an option because I could see where the default road was taking me, and I didn’t like it. 


Plus, my desire for a fulfilling and sacred love kept nudging me to go all in. To learn new ways of being and expressing myself to create something extraordinary and I even Holy. 


And maybe you feel that too. 


Maybe you feel that calling to step up and step out in faith and become the next version of you. 


Not because there’s anything wrong with you, but simply because you sense that there’s more. 


Even though you’re shy and nervous or awkward, you know there’s something more. 


That’s why it can be really powerful to explore those two options of best-case scenarios. 


Getting coached by me means learning the tools for having an amazing and Christ-centered life, and then using those tools and skills to honour your desire for marriage. 


And once you have these skills, you have them for life and they are completely transferable to anything you want to do. 


You want to adopt an orphan, start a business, travel the world, sponsor a missions trip, write a book, go back to school… the tools you’ll learn through coaching will allow you to do all of it. 


Here are some of the skills you’ll learn in your year of coaching. 


How to let go of judgement and love people unconditionally 


  • not an easy task because as humans we love to judge. 


How to accept yourself and the love of others. 


  • tricky if you have a tendency to beat yourself up a lot. 

I’ll teach you how to coach yourself using the life code because I don’t want you to remain dependent on me. 


I want you to understand how we work and how we can adopt the mind of Christ and cultivate the fruit of the Holy Spirit and take fruitfulled action. 


I want you to know this and pass on this wisdom to those around you. To your babies and loved ones. 


Understanding the life code will make every relationship in your life so much easier because it will help you understand others AND stop trying to manage their thoughts feeling and behaviours instead of your own. 


This allows you to show more empathy, compassion and understanding without having to agree with what other people are doing. 


Honestly, it has helped me unlock the secret to loving your neighbor as yourself. 


Because if you can get off the judgment seat and show up with love, you can change the world and really allow Christ to express himself through you. 


In your year of coaching, you will learn about emotional and spiritual childhood and maturity so that you can identify where you and others are and avoid unequally yoked relationships. 


Plus, you’ll learn about what to do with your expectations and standards so that you get more of what you want without feeling bad about asking for it. 


Look, there are so many side benefits to honoring your God-given desire and using it to grow into who you were created to be. 


You’re going for this one thing, but you will unlock so many of your gifts, talents, and abilities along the way. 

I’ll also show you how to differentiate between the stories you’re telling yourself - which you think are true- and the truth of God. 


Because most people live their entire lives believing that their version of the story is the truth, and it isn’t. It’s just your perspective, but 98% of the time, we can’t see it until someone points it out to us. 


And depending on who that person is, we can get really defensive and double down on our false assumptions, creating friction and disconnect in our relationships. 


But as a coach, I can show you those things in a way that allows you to let down your guard and relax into the truth, which sets you free. 


In your year of coaching, we will talk about boundaries and how to establish them and then maintain them. 


We will talk about your worth, value, and lovability and why it’s already 100%, and that you don’t have to do anything to earn it. 


You’re already worth far more than rubies. You’re worth the blood of the lamb, and so is everyone else on earth. Your value and worth have already been set, and it’s not up for negotiation. 


But suppose you think there’s something wrong with you like I did. In that case, you’re not going to be able to attract or maintain a healthy relationship because you’ll be preoccupied with getting that external validation. 

We will talk about your feelings because they matter, and they are the fuel for everything you do. And if you stuck in a cycle of unwanted behaviour whether that’s overeating or over drinking, or scrolling or gossiping or whatever, that it’s really an emotional issue and you’re using those behaviours to avoid feeling and together we will unpack that and find out why, and what to do about it. 


Finally, I’ll help you process your pain so that you’re no longer terrified of being vulnerable and showing up for love. 


Because chances are, no one ever taught you how to do that and so you’ve been avoiding discomfort at the expense of your dreams. 


And all of this is taught through the curriculum of your life. 


Your real life experiences will bring up plenty of opportunities to learn about all these things in a very practical and individualized way. 


Now, I want to go back to those 4 questions, and the third one is this


What would you choose if you could be equally happy either way? 


I love asking women this question when they have two potential love interests because our natural tendency is to ask, “Which man will make me happier?”


But that’s the wrong question because your partner isn’t responsible for your happiness; you are. 


So if you’re going to be happy either way, who will you choose and why? 


And this usually provides a lot of clarity about what to do. 


So, in this case, if will you be equally happy either way, with or without coaching? Which path do you want for yourself? 


Whatever you decide, you want to love your reason and take full responsibility for it. 


You don’t want to blame your decision on time or money. 


Don’t say I’d love to do it, but I don’t have the time when the truth is you would rather spend your time on something more important. 


And that’s okay. 

Just own it rather than being a victim of the calendar or your bank account. 


So I want you to know and love your reason. 


Why do you want to get married and use coaching to get there? 


For myself, I wanted to see what I was capable of. I wanted to know how much I could love and what lies I could break free from. I wanted to experience intimacy and the deepest level of connection rather than fear and guarding myself from love. 


I wanted to give myself a chance to experience true Christ-centered love and to be known and seen as I am by another person. 


I wanted to understand myself, especially my brain and habits. 


I wanted to know what it was like to bring God into a part of my life that often felt bad and shameful and I wanted to make peace with the scars of my past. 


I wanted my marriage to make a difference. 


I wanted my kids to witness real love and grow up in a healthy home. 


I wanted to invest in myself as see what I was capable of if I really tried.


Maybe you can relate to some of that. 


So now that you’ve asked yourself these questions, you want to use this information to make your decision. 


Don’t do the work of thinking through these questions and then leaving the decision up in the air. 


So just be honest with yourself. Are you a yes, or a no?


Now, you might be listening and thinking, Yes, I want all of this, and then right away, all of the reasons why you can’t will start flooding into your brain, and it will freak out. 


So just know that ahead of time. 


God designed your brain to keep you alive and avoid scary things. 


But Christ kind of flipped the tables on the survival plan and said that simply staying alive is no longer the goal of life. 


No, he upped the ante and gave us a whole new goal: to thrive for his glory and our good. 


And that requires us to overcome our survival brain, which just wants to live within the current comfort zone. Nice and safe. 


Now that you know your answer, you’ve got to take action. 


You’ve got to step out in faith and do something about it. 


So if you’re a yes, you would sign up, you would figure out your finances, you would get a second job, you would sell something or ask someone, and you make it happen. 


And then you anticipate that your brain will freak out and see all the obstacles. 


So if you commit yes or no, then the obstacles just become your opportunities to grow, and rather than resent them, you step up to the challenge and overcome them. 


Those obstacles are not stop signs, they are the Boulders you need to climb up and onto because those boulders form your bridge to the other side. 


It might be hard to see that from your current perspective on the ground in front of a giant Boulder, but I guarantee that if you climb up, you’ll get a totally new view. 


So the money to invest is an obstacle for many people; how do you overcome that obstacle? 


The time to invest? 

Are you willing to set aside an hour each week for the next 14 months to grow into a godly wife? 


This isn’t a passive program; I’m going to hold you accountable for your God-given desires and expect you to do what you said you wanted to do. 


You’re going to have to overcome your doubts and the lies that say you can’t do this. Your too old, too awkward, too late, too whatever. 


You’re going to look around you at other people who have what you want and compare yourself and think I’m not as young or as pretty or smart, or cute or something and be tempted to use that to justify why you can’t achieve your Godgivrrn desire. 


What other obstacles will you have to overcome? Kids, work, illness, trauma, location? 


Please don’t see these as reasons to stop; see them as the unique ways God calls you to grow and develop. 


The truth is, you can move forward regardless of the past or the obstacles ahead of you. 


And I’m here to help you through that entire journey. 


You are starting with this first decision of whether you’re a yes or a no, and exactly what you get with my 2022 VIP coaching offer. 


As I said, you’re going to get a weekly 60-minute coaching session where we use your life to draw closer to God and take fruit-fueled action towards your God-given desire for a Christ-centered marriage. 


If you’re curious what that looks like, the last 3 episodes have been a behind-the-scenes peek at a coaching session with a new client, and you can watch one of my coaching sessions at proverbs2426.com/2022. 


Each session begins with prayer, and then you tell me what you’d like to work on. If you ever have a day where you don’t know what to talk about, I’m prepared for that too. 

You’ll also get access to my signature program Ready For The One, including all the lessons, workbooks, devotionals, and group coaching. 


Plus, you’ll get 6 emergency sessions so you never have to wait until next week to deal with a crisis. You will always be able to get a session booked within 24 hours so that you don’t spend days spiraling out of control with negative emotions. 


Finally, you don’t have to wait until 2022 to get start. Your first session will be scheduled for next week at no additional cost to you. 


This gives you a total value of over $12,000 


For just $5000


There are two ways to pay, 


A payment plan spreads the cost of your investment out over the next 14 months, and you just need to pay the deposit. 


Or you can put the money side of things behind you, get it paid for all at once, and focus on the journey ahead. 


With the full payment option, you get an additional bonus in which I will help you craft an online dating profile if that is a tool you’d like to use or use that time to focus on an alternative dating strategy. 


Now, this offer expires tomorrow on Friday, October 29th, which is why I wanted to help you get to a yes or a no, today. 


If you’re still not sure or you have questions, I want you to email me right away. 


My email address is [email protected] 


If you’re feeling nervous because I have never coached you and you don’t know if it will work for you, I do have a guarantee that if you do your first 2 coaching sessions and you’re not loving where this journey is headed, I’ll give you your money back. 


I don’t recommend that, I want to work with women who are excited and committed to their yes, but I also want to make it easier for you to get to that yes in case you have a lot of doubt and fears to overcome. 


That is all my friend, if you’re a yes, and I hope you are, I would be honored to join you on your journey, all you need to do now is head over to provetbs2426?com/start. 


There is a link wherever you are listening to this podcast. 


We need more Godly women who are stepping up and being an example of Christ-centered love in the world and who are willing to use their journey towards marriage and marriage itself to shine more light and love in the darkness. 


Thank you for joining me today, it has been such a pleasure to share this with you, and I sincerely hope you’ll say yes to letting me coach you as you pursue your God-given desire for a Christ-centered marriage. 


Until next time, God Bless You. 


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